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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, I’m chugging my espresso, and boom! My phone buzzes. Stocks are crashing. Like, seriously? I just got my head straight! I sprinted down the street, dodging tourists and pigeons. Rijeka’s streets are always packed, especially in summer. I mean, who doesn’t wanna see the Trsat Castle?

8Base ransomware group hacked Croatia’s Port of Rijeka